What I Learned Settling My Mother’s Estate

A few months ago, I became the executor of my mother’s estate. It wasn’t a role I ever asked for, and honestly, it came far too soon. My mom died suddenly, and in those early days of shock and grief, I found comfort in knowing we had prepared—together.

We’d walked this road once before. After my father passed less than 2 years ago, I helped settle his affairs. That experience taught us the importance of organizing finances, creating clarity around intentions, and naming a trusted executor. So when my mother passed, her estate was already in order. And that, more than anything, has made all the difference.

Her home sold after just one private showing. The belongings she spent a lifetime collecting—many of which reflect both her sentimental nature and tendency to hoard “treasures”—are scheduled to be auctioned at the end of this month. It’s a fitting farewell, but I won’t be there. It’s too emotional for me, and I’ve found my peace in other ways.

She and my father were not wealthy by most standards. Yet they managed to leave a generous inheritance—financial, yes, but also a spiritual inheritance of faith, generosity, and love. And now, as I walk through the steps of settling her estate, I’m struck by how much this process mirrors the entrepreneurial journey.

Whether you’re managing your parents’ legacy or building your own, estate settlements force you to think critically, act with purpose, and honor what truly matters.

🧭 What Happens During an Estate Settlement? A Step-by-Step Guide

When someone passes away, their assets must be gathered, debts paid, taxes filed, and what's left distributed to beneficiaries. That entire process is called estate settlement, and it's guided by legal documents like wills, trusts, and sometimes state law if no plan exists.

Step 1: Locate the Will and Estate Planning Documents

As the named executor, your first job is to locate your loved one’s:

• Last Will and Testament

• Trust documents (if applicable)

• Safe deposit box keys

• Titles to property or vehicles

• Deeds

• Financial account statements

• Insurance policies

Without these, the process can become complex quickly. Thankfully, we had everything in a fireproof folder. A quiet but profound gift from my mom.

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Step 2: File the Will with the Probate Court

Probate is the legal process that validates the will and oversees the estate settlement. Even if everything seems “simple,” most states require a formal filing.

The court then gives the executor (you) letters testamentary, which legally authorize you to act on behalf of the estate.

If there’s no will, the estate is considered intestate, and distribution follows state law—which may or may not align with your family’s intentions.

Step 3: Open an Estate Account

This is a special bank account used solely for estate transactions:

• Depositing funds from sold assets

• Paying funeral costs, debts, and taxes

• Distributing inheritance to heirs

The way my mom’s will and assets were set up by our attorney was straightforward and didn’t require an estate bank account. Almost all her personal accounts were on auto-pay to her credit card, and her credit card was on auto-pay to her bank account. All proceeds from her home sale and auction will flow to our family and be divided according to the will—my job will be to share those distributions.

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Step 4: Notify All Relevant Institutions

You must inform:

• Social Security Administration

• Banks and credit unions

• Insurance companies

• Credit card companies

• Utility providers

• Cell phone providers

• Internet providiers

• IRS-Accountant (yes, you’ll need to file a final return)

This part takes time. You’ll be sending certified copies of the death certificate to nearly everyone.

I discovered and learned from my mom's bank that, despite being named the executor of her estate, Indiana law prohibits me from accessing her funds until 45 days after her passing. This waiting period is crucial as it ensures that all outstanding debts are appropriately settled before any money can be withdrawn.

It's a safeguard designed to protect creditors and maintain financial responsibility during the sensitive process of estate management. This regulation underscores the importance of a fair and orderly distribution of assets, ensuring all obligations are honored before beneficiaries receive their share.

Understanding this policy not only reflects conscientious estate management but also respects my mom’s wishes for handling her financial matters responsibly and ethically.

Step 5: Inventory All Assets (Tangible, Real, and Residuary)

This is where emotions flood in. In estate terms, assets fall into three main buckets:

🪑 1. Tangible Personal Property

• Jewelry, furniture, collectibles, clothing, vehicles

• These items are typically appraised and either gifted, auctioned, or donated.

• In my case, we hired an estate auctioneer to handle the volume.

🏠 2. Real Property

• Residential homes, vacation property, land

• These assets usually require appraisal and a formal sale.

• After the home was appraised, my mom’s house sold immediately—bittersweet and fast.

💼 3. Residuary Estate

• Whatever is left after specific gifts and debts are handled

• Includes cash, investment accounts, business interests, or residual ownerships

• This is what gets divided based on the “residuary clause” in the will

Step 6: Pay Off Debts and Taxes

Before anyone gets their share, you must:

• Pay outstanding bills

• Cancel subscriptions

• Handle final medical costs

• File and pay state/federal taxes

• Possibly handle inheritance or estate tax if large enough

Use the estate account for all payments. Keep meticulous records—probate courts may ask for a full accounting.

Step 7: Distribute the Assets

Once debts are cleared and court approvals granted, you can begin disbursing inheritances. For us, this meant:

• Distributions per the will to my sibling and the grand-kids

• Gifting sentimental items like photo albums or keepsakes

• Donating the rest per Mom’s wishes

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Step 8: Close the Estate

You’ll file a final accounting with the probate court and request formal closure. Once approved, your legal responsibilities as executor end.

💡 The Emotional and Entrepreneurial Lessons

This process is both deeply administrative and profoundly personal. You’re closing a chapter while ensuring the story continues for others.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Clarity is a kindness. Whether in life or death, don’t make others guess your intentions.

• Micro-businesses are part of legacy planning. If you own a micro-corporation, STR, or side hustle, include it in your estate plan.

• Structure brings peace. Whether managing a portfolio or handling a loved one’s passing, an organized framework is a gift.

• Love isn’t measured in dollars. My parents left a legacy far beyond material wealth. And I hope to do the same.

🧾 Is This Deductible?

I had to purchase HVAC filters for my short-term rental in South Haven, Michigan. Yes—these are deductible, which is why I used my STR’s credit card. I’ll also deduct mileage for driving up from Indiana to replace them.

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📬 Join the Movement

“Legacy is not what I did for myself. It’s what I’m doing for the next generation.” – Vitor Belfort

Thousands of physicians are reclaiming their autonomy and crafting a legacy of ownership, not just employment. Are you ready to join them?

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🔗 Related Reading on The Independent Physician Blog

• Honoring My Mother: The Woman Who Made My Mission Possible